I go through phases of this with my husband. We’ve been married for 13 years, and he is legit my best friend, and I find him to be just unbelievably hot af. I’ll go weeks where I’m just like “goddamn, this is mine?”

And then I also go through less intense periods. He’s still my partner through life and I’d get his back through anything and everything, but it’s less “omg you’re so hot” googly eyes and more like “this is the life we’ve built together and I’m so glad I did it with you”.

But then a few weeks later I’m in crush mode.

Obligatory of course we have our periods where we annoy the fuck out of each other, but it’s usually short-lived and we communicate and work through it. I think that’s just a realistic fact of marriage.

He has made me such a better person than I was when I met him though. I think about that constantly.

This post and thread gives me (back) so much hope. I always hoped for something like described here. But I never came anywhere close and so I have lost the hope over time. I was thinking in the direction of “I just want someone to share my life with. It will work out to be ok somehow.” But some recent events and post like this give me back the hope to find a the person I really want to share time with. It also brings me the motivation to work on myself, so to be more like I would like to be. Thanks you all.

I want to feel this way…

My partner and I are like this. We’ve been together for 14 years and are legit best friends.

I have a feeling too many people paired off right away and decided their first serious relationship was the one, and never actually found an equal. Maybe they married more out of fear of being alone rather than actual desire, or they just can’t tell the difference between sexual novelty and love.

Even a lot of my married friends start identifying more with boomer humor than romance after 2 or 3 years. Way too many communication issue, or ideas of traditional roles or how things ‘should be’ leading to resentment or exasperation.

Court long and marry late. And don’t hide your real self when dating.