• altphoto@lemmy.today
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    4 hours ago

    Re-open Alcatraz as a tourist attraction with real live criminals like a petting zoo but for violent offenders.

  • Snowwomen@discuss.tchncs.de
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    6 hours ago

    I had an idea for one, something like: “Vatican Conclave Elects to End Papcy, sell off all Vatican possessions to feed the needy, and entrust the direction of the church to God’s hands.”

    • CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 hours ago

      The problem was that The Onion tipped their hand. They needed to do what these high class tax dodgers do and create a completely separate legal entity (e.g. Information Combat Readiness Group) and submit bids under that name. Once purchased, sell the company to The Onion for pennies, or if they are really smart, rent the assets to the Onion for bajillion dollars, which then the Onion can write off and pay less taxes.

      And yes, that’s how our corporate tax system works.

      • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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        3 hours ago

        Honestly, what my divorce taught me is that the legal system is set up to protect rich white men from ever experiencing consequences. Obstructing the courts is a great strategy, because you can just draw things out until people give up.

        Which is basically what this still is - Jones lost on default because he was refusing to provide evidence or follow the rules. But he’s still getting to opt out of the rules.

  • frezik@midwest.social
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    6 hours ago

    They’ve been doing a surprisingly good job. Like “Quibbling Over Exact Definition Of Concentration Camp Sign Of Healthy Society”. We can debate if the prison in El Salvador counts as a concentration camp (IMO it very clearly is) or a death camp (IMO it is not, but we’re probably headed there), but the fact that we’re even having that debate is a very bad sign. It cuts through the “well, technically” of it all and shows what’s really important.

    • exasperation@lemm.ee
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      4 hours ago

      I’m a subscriber to their monthly print copy, and a lot of the stories in the print version don’t make it to the website as quickly. I’ve got the February copy on my desk with the following headlines:

      • Trump Administration Offers Free At-Home Loyalty Tests: Tool That Diagnoses Disobedience to be Mailed to U.S. Households
      • U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Combat - Wars Will No Longer Be Fought By Male Shannons, Terrys, or Carmens
      • Baby Saves Affair: Illicit Relationship Rekindled by Out-of-Wedlock Birth

      As far as I can tell, these articles never made it online. And they are funny. Good coffee table material.

    • sbv@sh.itjust.works
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      3 hours ago

      They’ve been frantically rolling back repeatedly, and the simulation just keeps going off the rails. Didn’t you see the posts in ten forward?

      • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        6 hours ago

        Not necessarily if you take the mandela effect seriously. My favorite mandela effect is the collective wrong memory that instead of Sanders, Trump was elected. I’m glad I escaped that universe (or rather I’m trying to)

    • folekaule@lemmy.world
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      7 hours ago

      The request has been submitted to uservoice and has 265,567 votes, so it will probably be any time now.

  • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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    7 hours ago

    it’s like that south park episode where prof chaos is trying to come up with an evil plan for world domination, but can’t because the simpsons already did it

    except instead of south park it’s real life

  • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    But then the new guy reads the incantation wrong so we get another dumb thing for real instead. Great job, Frank, this is why nobody likes you.