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“You have a beautiful brain” while looking at MRI pictures of my head.
My female colleague told me the other day I’d make a great dad because my tattoos are all black and white and that would be great for kids because they could color them.
What 😭
“Whoever did your circumcision did a really good job.” :/
As I was sitting at my desk with some tea and a stroopwaffel, one of my coworkers commented that I “really knew how to live.”
Just last week, someone left a note for me saying I’m a “goddess among mortals” for making a carrot cake without raisins.
I’m an overweight 40-year-old man with a beard. She hadn’t seen who made the cake, so she was just making a guess that the baker was a woman, but still. Funny experience.
Who the fuck puts raisins in a carrot cake?
I have honestly never experienced an abomination. Not that there is anything wrong with raisins, but in carrot cake?
Her “you look like Kevin federline”
Me “well fuck you too”
Her “what?! He’s hot!”
Me “I stand by my statement”
I don’t know how weird it is but I’ve been told a few times that I have a “calming presence”. It’s a very nice compliment, just don’t understand why or how.
This is sometimes what happens when someone grows up around someone who is volatile or unpredictable.
Natural adaptation.
Could that be why?
Oh. Well that tracks, yeah.
“You eat rice like Chinese person”
From the lady behind the counter as I was watching some bullshit on my phone and eating mapo tofu
I “chew sexy”…was eating pizza at a girlfriend’s house.
What a weird thing for her dad to say.
That I have a nice phone number.
I have an evil one. It ends 666 👿
My old work number used to have a 404 area code. I work in tech. It was a fun inside joke.
Makes me wonder if someone out there has a phone number of 404-746-8363 (404-PG-NT-FND)
