Title is a bit much so let me explain.

The world has all kinds of terrible things that the individual can do basically nothing about. Luckily, for most of us it has no direct impact and we are able to ignore the painful reality. But what if you were in a situation where it did impact you? In a way that is part of your everyday. What if for years you are struggling with the internal conflict of “there is nothing I can do about it” and “I can’t continue like this”?

As for the drugs, I specifically mean weed and specifically for the days where I find it too hard to ignore. I find myself thinking that if I get high I will have an easier time ignoring the pain and doing something good like cleaning or working.

Notes:

  • Don’t bother with telling me that even the individual has the power to make great changes, I believe it and I’m doing my best, but I am also aware of the fact that this situation will not be changed in my lifetime probably.
  • I’m not suicidal, I don’t harm myself and while I can tell that lately I have been using weed too much, I don’t think I am abusing it. I’m logging my usage and I review it weekly, If it get’s out of hand I will know (I think)
  • I’m mostly asking about using external stimulation as a form of escapism
  • Yes, I need therapy, sadly it is expensive. Yes I am looking for options.

EDIT: Thanks to all of the replies, I have read them all but I don’t want to respond to all of them. I think this post helped, so thank you!

  • superkret@feddit.org
    4·
    1 day ago

    I find myself thinking that if I get high I will have an easier time ignoring the pain and doing something good like cleaning or working.

    That isn’t true, though. Getting high every day will add another problem on top of those you already have.
    It reduces your capacity to change things and your capacity to cope with what you can’t change.

    That being said, if your pain is physical and chronic, you basically have no other choice but to take drugs.
    And weed is one of the better options for dealing with chronic pain.
    But then ideally you should do it under medical supervision, and not with the goal of knocking your brain out, but making the pain manageable so you can live your life.
    This would likely mean not to smoke lots of weed with lots of THC, but consuming smaller doses of slower-acting edibles with a higher CBD amount.