Title is a bit much so let me explain.

The world has all kinds of terrible things that the individual can do basically nothing about. Luckily, for most of us it has no direct impact and we are able to ignore the painful reality. But what if you were in a situation where it did impact you? In a way that is part of your everyday. What if for years you are struggling with the internal conflict of “there is nothing I can do about it” and “I can’t continue like this”?

As for the drugs, I specifically mean weed and specifically for the days where I find it too hard to ignore. I find myself thinking that if I get high I will have an easier time ignoring the pain and doing something good like cleaning or working.

Notes:

  • Don’t bother with telling me that even the individual has the power to make great changes, I believe it and I’m doing my best, but I am also aware of the fact that this situation will not be changed in my lifetime probably.
  • I’m not suicidal, I don’t harm myself and while I can tell that lately I have been using weed too much, I don’t think I am abusing it. I’m logging my usage and I review it weekly, If it get’s out of hand I will know (I think)
  • I’m mostly asking about using external stimulation as a form of escapism
  • Yes, I need therapy, sadly it is expensive. Yes I am looking for options.

EDIT: Thanks to all of the replies, I have read them all but I don’t want to respond to all of them. I think this post helped, so thank you!

  • insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafeEnglish
    3·
    1 day ago

    I feel like if it’s not every day+not a money issue+well below combustion+not putting a significant risk on others (driving) then it’s probably not too bad.

    Having usage that is less instant, less portable, less potent, less common, or more variable may help too (ritual, not habit). Also if your stuff is low-quality (cheap/free) you probably won’t worry so much about wasting it if you let it sit.

    Or maybe that’s a cope from me in a similar spot. Though either way things are not changing for the better for me, aside from maybe the small (mostly sustaining) steps I’m still doing.