I find it incredibly interesting that people knew the always wanted things like that…a spouse, a grand wedding, children of their own. I don’t think I’ve ever really thought that way about those things.
When I was not an adult I thought I wanted a family. It wasn’t until I became an adult and started to interact with children as one that I learned I DID NOT want one. And I’ve heard all the platitudes.
I like to make people uncomfortable when they start going on about how my wife and I should have kids. She had a TL and I had a vasectomy. I usually start off with “kids are off the table for us.”
We SHOULDN’T have kids because genetics on both our families are shit.
We WON’T have kids because they’re awful to deal with 90% of the time, and neither of us feel that the world will be a livable place in their lifetime so it would be cruel to have children anyway.
We CAN’T have kids because the medical procedures.
If someone gets pushy about it, I act emotional, burst out that after so many miscarriages we have given up on children and the person should learn to take a hint.
So far nobody has had anything else to say after that.
My retort usually has to do with people who when I tell them that I don’t want to have to tolerate children tell me that it’ll be different when the children are my own. I tell them that if they’re a good parent they probably have encountered a hundred times where their child has been difficult or unruly or just some form of stressful but all of those hundred times disappear during that one moment where they get to see their kid smile or overcome a challenge or succeed in some way. Which usually you know causes them to get you know happy or nostalgic thinking back on a moment like that. To which I then say I would trade 100 of those moments that you’re thinking about right now for one day of not having to get up before the sun.
I find it incredibly interesting that people knew the always wanted things like that…a spouse, a grand wedding, children of their own. I don’t think I’ve ever really thought that way about those things.
When I was not an adult I thought I wanted a family. It wasn’t until I became an adult and started to interact with children as one that I learned I DID NOT want one. And I’ve heard all the platitudes.
I like to make people uncomfortable when they start going on about how my wife and I should have kids. She had a TL and I had a vasectomy. I usually start off with “kids are off the table for us.”
We SHOULDN’T have kids because genetics on both our families are shit.
We WON’T have kids because they’re awful to deal with 90% of the time, and neither of us feel that the world will be a livable place in their lifetime so it would be cruel to have children anyway.
We CAN’T have kids because the medical procedures.
If someone gets pushy about it, I act emotional, burst out that after so many miscarriages we have given up on children and the person should learn to take a hint.
So far nobody has had anything else to say after that.
My retort usually has to do with people who when I tell them that I don’t want to have to tolerate children tell me that it’ll be different when the children are my own. I tell them that if they’re a good parent they probably have encountered a hundred times where their child has been difficult or unruly or just some form of stressful but all of those hundred times disappear during that one moment where they get to see their kid smile or overcome a challenge or succeed in some way. Which usually you know causes them to get you know happy or nostalgic thinking back on a moment like that. To which I then say I would trade 100 of those moments that you’re thinking about right now for one day of not having to get up before the sun.