This is exactly it. Hurting things, destroying things, these are pleasurable behaviours. Look at how young children play, how we have to teach them to be gentle with animals until they can develop enough empathy to be trusted.

Empathy is what counterbalances the pleasure of sadism. If you feel bad you hurt something, that’s a pain that is much greater than the pleasure a normal person gains from sadism.

Some people, on purpose or by accident, have shitty empathy.

From personal experience in casual settings it’s femme/sub coded people that tend to oppose enthusiastic consent. The idea of “agreeing” to various acts doesn’t feel “subby” enough.

I suspect the casual femme/sub role is mentally coded the same was bodice rippers/literary smut content is where a strong masc/dom appears and coercively satisfies all the femme/subs desires without real communication occurring freeing the femme/sub from the “shame” of accepting and expressing their femme/sub desires.

I think it would be, to me, difficult for the concept of enthusiastic consent to come from just one side of the equation. Both partners have to find it sexy for it to be sexy. It needs to enter our sexual zeitgeist, likely through advocacy and proper sexual education.

I have a hard time understanding how to people asking for what they want and expressing what they’d like to do could possibly be unsexy to anyone. Like I’m watching everyone get off and have their sexual needs validated and acted on. Non enthusiastic consent sex is SOMETIMES hot like the movies where two people are on the same wavelength and effortlessly act on eachothers desires. MOST of the time it’s awkward lack of communication leading to uncomfortable positions and the partners ESPECIALLY the femme/sub role having ALMOST what they want, getting CLOSE to amazing orgasm(s), but through lack of communication not really getting there, or settling for less.

Ironically the people who most consistently have “sexy hot movie sex” without having to talk are people who have been having enthusiastic consent sex for a few weeks or months and are playing out a scene they both understand.

Whew, thinking all this out is making me feel some kind of ways!

Enthusiastic consent is so sexy! I also love open scene planning beforehand for kinkier sex so that everyone gets what they want out of it and avoid things they don’t want.

A lot of people still find both unsexy and think sex should both be purely spontaneous AND meet all their kinks somehow.

“do what you want to me” is my least favourite dirty talk. The base idea is that we both currently WANT to do the same dirty rough sex but for some reason we’re not doing it. What makes her think he’s NOT doing what he wants right now? What if he’s a for fetishist and wants to put her foot in his mouth and jerk off? What if he just wants her to eat his ass?

Clearly “do what you want to me” doesn’t mean do what you want to me. “do what you want to me” means “I have a specific type of rough sex in mind but I’m not able to express my desires clearly, so I’ve projected them into my partner and I’ve made it their responsibility to understand me and do the right type of sex stuff to me”

I know this is basically an unhinged response to a greentext but I’ve had so many bad experiences with that specific line. Is wanting clear communication before and during sex about the sex we’re about to perform too much to ask for?

More people were killed in the firebombing.

The theory that more people would have died of the nukes weren’t dropped is FAR from settled fact. The Japanese were already looking to surrender and it’s not likely the bomb played a big part in that decision.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debate_over_the_atomic_bombings_of_Hiroshima_and_Nagasaki?wprov=sfla1

Regardless it’s nothing to get banned over, that’s for sure.