The one and only.

The hills! They’re alive!!

There ain’t a lot of people to choose from at that point in history.

Experience beats out credentials.

Whose idea was it to make a transfer portal between the magical forest and the wizard’s enclave anyway?

I’ll bet it was Derick.

With! A! Tiger!

Then have a nap.

Well, look around you, we humans are further apart from nature than everything else is. And it’s our own damn fault.

With that amount of nudity, it’s a NatGeo series now.

I’m researching how to sneak a Komodo dragon into RFK’s bedroom so it will eat him while he sleeps.

Therapist: “You can’t hear static images.”

tubas and accordions fill my head

”Skies of gray, (Skies of gray)”
”And seas of brown, (Seas of brown)”
”On our potato, (Our potato)”
”In the ground. (In the ground)”

When everyone picks the same character and you get stuck with the shit color swap.

Beating the earpiece against the metal pay phone and not even a scuff mark.

Every day is a good day to strike against oppressive establishment.

“You saved me a blueberry trail mix and a Dr. Pepper, right? You know what will happen if you didn’t save me a blueberry trail mix and a Dr. Pepper.”

people crying on social media during COVID lockdown

Me: “It’s been a while since I’ve known this kind of peace.”

Manufacturer: “As much as legally allowed.”

Steve Jobs: “…And here it is.”