Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.

Agree, but splurge and get one that has a water heater. No one wants cold water sprayed there.

I mean… I’ve met Glaswegians.

That those are the only counties Americans stereotypically visit.

Which isn’t close to true.

From what I understand it’s what you drink at the family reunion once you run out of cheap beer and need to forget how bad Chicago is.

For anyone who is not from Chicago, Malort is a bitter liquor that tastes like you poured anise through a filter of mud and used motor oil.

This all reminds me of a conversation in Star Trek Deep Space 9. Season 5 episode 20

For context Quark is talking with his mother Ishka about the qualities that the leader, the Nagus, of their hyper capitalist society should have.

Quark: Of course not. He was willing to throw our entire economy into chaos just so he could grab power.

Ishka: Sounds like a true Ferengi to me.

Quark: A Ferengi, maybe, but not a Nagus. A Nagus has to be better than that. His personal greed has to reflect the public’s greed.