And I thought the year of linux desktop was coming…

Well, here is me, who fell into nuclear propaganda.

While this would not answer your question, but according to podman maintainers, rootful podman with userns=auto enjoys nearly as much security benefits as rootless. (As always, there are nuances to this)

Check out https://github.com/containers/podman/discussions/13728

Maybe you could consider running rootful podman, especially if the OS is immutable.

Sometimes I wish I were like OP, being creatively greedy to snitch lots of money. Then I realize, that requires money and influence to work out… Life.