I miss those magazines. I love absurdity, and I’d beg my mom to buy them for me. She wouldn’t and said they were trash, and not real.
I know. Thats why I want them. I don’t want real news. I never asked her to buy a newspaper. I want to read how Bigfoot was caught bathing in a bird bath in northern Canada. Yes, I was 7, and knew the difference between this and reality. But I love absurd fake shit.
I spent the 90s watching pro wrestling where an undead wizard faught his own long lost brother, who was thought to be dead decades ago after the undead wizard burned his whole family alive inside the family owned funeral home. Turns out his brother was kept locked in a basement to hide his scars, and now wears a mask to hide his disfigured face. And somehow, because he was burned alive as a child, he now is able to summon fire, which is just as plausible as his brother being able to summon lightning.
I know most of you don’t watch pro wrestling. I get that it’s not for everyone. BUT! After reading that summery of an actual decades long storyline, if you EVER ask a fan of pro wrestling if they know it’s “fake”, you’re even dumber than you think we are.
Point is, I love these magazines, but at some point they gave up. They couldn’t be more absurd than real life.
Oh man…remember when satire news publications had articles of bat boy on the front page because politics weren’t as absurd yet?
I miss those magazines. I love absurdity, and I’d beg my mom to buy them for me. She wouldn’t and said they were trash, and not real.
I know. Thats why I want them. I don’t want real news. I never asked her to buy a newspaper. I want to read how Bigfoot was caught bathing in a bird bath in northern Canada. Yes, I was 7, and knew the difference between this and reality. But I love absurd fake shit.
I spent the 90s watching pro wrestling where an undead wizard faught his own long lost brother, who was thought to be dead decades ago after the undead wizard burned his whole family alive inside the family owned funeral home. Turns out his brother was kept locked in a basement to hide his scars, and now wears a mask to hide his disfigured face. And somehow, because he was burned alive as a child, he now is able to summon fire, which is just as plausible as his brother being able to summon lightning.
I know most of you don’t watch pro wrestling. I get that it’s not for everyone. BUT! After reading that summery of an actual decades long storyline, if you EVER ask a fan of pro wrestling if they know it’s “fake”, you’re even dumber than you think we are.
Point is, I love these magazines, but at some point they gave up. They couldn’t be more absurd than real life.
Absurdity is dead.