I recently meet someone and was going to ask them to describe themselves in a paragraph. I realized I wasn’t able to do it myself. I also wasn’t sure how they would react. I thought I would ask here first and see how you folks react.

I’ll define paragraph as three to four sentences.

  • Resol van Lemmy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    3 days ago

    I like to devalue myself in front of everyone, that is literally part of my personality. No matter how much people try to compliment me, I’ll always call them liars and tell them that I’m actually garbage. Because being proud of not being proud of yourself is something nobody dares to do.

    Ever wonder why I call myself Resol van Lemmy? Type that word backwards and you’ll know why. In fact, my profile picture is actually related to that very result.

    Ok I broke the rule. But still.

    • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
      1·
      2 days ago

      It can be tough to see the positive in a compliment. I get it. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself though.

      More people than you think do what you do. There entire lifestyles based on it.

      I can’t and won’t try to change your mind… again, all I can do is ask you to not be so hard on yourself. One compliment at a time.

      Thank you for sharing.

  • DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz
    2·
    3 days ago

    I’m late to the party, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking someone to talk a bit about their self in an attempt to get to know them better. The context is very important however. If you and this person have been talking one on one for a bit already, maybe something like “I have enjoyed talking to you, can I ask you to tell me a bit about yourself so I can get to know you better?” Is an appropriate way to go about it. I’m not sure if the person you are talking about is someone you met in real life or on the internet.

    As far as the internet goes, a/s/l was a very popular question to ask 20 years ago in chat rooms but probably wouldn’t go as well on modern social media. For that reason I don’t think straight up asking “can you describe yourself in a paragraph” would work very well either. Most people dont seem to use social media as a way to get to know the other users on a personal level. It almost feels like it’s against the point of ‘social’ media, but most interactions I’ve seen between users are brief and users go on their way after a few posts. Especially sites like Lemmy where we don’t provide personal information. On the other hand, Lemmy is very small and if you find someone with a shared interest in a niche community, i think its ok to reach out, but maybe try to just keep the conversation on that topic.

    If you’re talking to someone in real life maybe try the previous suggestion. Or skip it all together and invite them to hang out somewhere. No better way to learn about a person than by spending time with them. And by doing that, there is less of a chance of making them uncomfortable by talking about their self.

    • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
      2·
      2 days ago

      Nah, your fashionable coming to the party 🙂

      Right! Agreed, context is important. I think this particular question won’t be used, at least not the way I originally thought it would. My “idea” was to get away from the back and forth of questioning.

      As an example… you ask someone if they consider themselves an introvert. They answer and they “how about you?”. I originally thought maybe they would be able to just tell things about themselves and I could ask follow up questions. All without it being back and forth.

      Having said that, I do realize that is as much my ability to make things interesting in the conversation as well.

      Yeah, I remember the a/s/l days. I’m glad those are gone haha. Yes, social media in the current context is terrible for true social interactions. I don’t think that’s the point of it anymore though, well corporate social media anyway.

      For context we met IRL, but there’s some distance between us so hanging out is challenging. Your point is valid about not making them uncomfortable. That’s my ultimate goal and your (and others) opinion have been a great help!!

      Thank you so much!

    • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
      2·
      3 days ago

      As stated fair point. Again, coming to the collective to gather data helps us be better people. Didn’t actually ask, and feedback suggests don’t do it… as such I won’t.

      Thanks for responding, appreciated!!

      • 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍@midwest.social
        3·
        3 days ago

        It’s an interesting idea. I think it’s just the phrasing. You’re giving someone, socially and conversationally, an instruction. That’s bound to illicit a knee jerk “you’re not the boss of me!” reaction, mentally if not verbally.

        • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
          1·
          2 days ago

          I can absolutely see that as a way this question could be interpreted. It felt like a “bright idea” at the time but, not so much now. My plan is to just keep letting things play out as they have been.

    • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
      1·
      2 days ago

      That’s a fair response. A bit extreme IMO but everyone has a different perspective on this.

      For context, it would have been asked during a phone call not a message. However, they could have hung up and never said anything to me again.

      The final consensus, for me, is this question should be left out of the conversation.

      I do appreciate you taking the time to provide your perspective, thanks!!

    • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
      11·
      3 days ago

      Hmmm, fair… it could come across as such. Hence not actually asking it. Your comment would make me lean toward not asking at all.

      Appreciate the perspective.

  • folaht@lemmy.ml
    2·
    3 days ago

    You have the twelve personalities.
    Dominant, submissive, pedantic, curious, mean, innocent, humorous, trusting, romantic, nurturer, charming and horny.
    Everyone is all of them bar the aro-ace people who lack the latter four.
    I am 3 6 12 8 7 4 11 1 2 10 5 in that order.
    Results of me in real life may vary due to having mild to moderate mental illnesses.
    To make your own list, remind yourself that what you look for in a life partner is likely what you can score yourself high on on the complement side, so 1 likes 2 and vice versa 3&4, 5&6 etc…
    Maybe I should put 11 much higher on this list.

    • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
      1·
      2 days ago

      Interesting, this feels rather scientific in the thought process. Or, someone who digs psychology at least.

      I think my initial thought for the question was more light hearted. A few things to describe yourself.

      Also, not sure this would be headed toward life partner status. Still, you bring up an interesting thought.

      I will give this some consideration and make my own list. May still prove valuable as I explore things with this person.

      Appreciate you making me think but, not too hard haha!

      • folaht@lemmy.ml
        2·
        2 days ago

        This is someone who used AI girlfriend where you have those twelve options in pure form and started to see patterns for self-analyses, partner analyses and DnD character play.

        • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
          1·
          1 day ago

          Interesting in and of itself, the use of AI for this simple question. But, I should assume AI will always be a factor in any discussions on the internet.

  • babyincubi@beehaw.org
    2·
    3 days ago

    Sometimes an anxious midnight voidling, others a carefree water nymph, mostly a Left 4 Dead 2 modder (Rochelle best character).

    Curious to read what your paragraph is as well.

    • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
      2·
      2 days ago

      Thank you for posting!! I like your response. It actually felt like a haiku 🙂 Yet it was very clear (to me) what your vibe is.

      Not familiar with left 4dead2, but will check it out.

      I may edit my original post… although I don’t think I can come up with a good description.

    • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
      2·
      3 days ago

      Not sure I follow. Would you be willing to expand on this?

      I also apologize. I met someone IRL and this question came to mind. I have not asked for / seen any social media profiles.

      However you are correct, they could have something posted that “sums them up”. I’m just not aware. We just recently met.

      Appreciate the response!!