This isn’t introvert behavior, introverts are normal people who just spend energy in social situations. This is social anxiety, please stop normalizing this stupid ass take.
This could absolutely be an introvwrted person with no social energy to spend. What do you think happens whrn an introverts social battery runs out? Shutdown and or/social anxiety.
I’m very much an introvert. If I’ve been with people all weekend and I’m drained, I definitely need time where I don’t need to answer to anyone or I get irritable and stressed.
If I’m past that point and hungry, I’d just get my food and brush off anyone trying to talk to me. Presumably these are my roommate’s friends, so I’m not expected to stick around and socialize.
I think the key here is presumption of etiquette. My social battery drains by having to consider social behaviors - speaking clearly, planning out what I want to say, paying attention to what people are saying and doing. If I’m just navigating through that space to grab food and return to my room, that’s no problem. The issue is if people DO expect me to hang around, or ‘chase’ me back to my sanctuary space.
but also if you’re bringing home people who others in the household don’t want to be around maybe you should talk to them about that and maybe visit your friends instead of them visiting you.
I don’t have social anxiety but if i had to deal with strangers showing up in my home i’d be completely nonfunctional, because it’s my fucking home
Yeah this isn’t about social anxiety this is about intrusion of sanctuary space.
Out and about? Awesome sure I’ll chit-chat. Friends drop by for a bit? Cool!
Having a roommate’s acquaintance I barely know in the living room for four hours when I expected to be able to turn off my brain and grab snacks freely without forced small talk? Absolutely the hell not. No. Bad.
Who is this actually happening to? If I or someone I live with have a friend over for that long, we/they’re probably doing something. If there was anything close to small talk with a roommate coming by, its “Hey! Wanna join us?”, to which “no thanks” is always a fine answer.
Completely nonfunctional? Sorry to burst your bubble but that sounds like crippling social anxiety. Maybe visit elsewhere instead of ever having friends over? Have you ever been in a relationship? That’s extremely selfish.
you seem to have misunderstood, i can handle other members of the household, the problem is having people i don’t actually live with show up outside my control.
Like every now and then us kids spend a couple days at my mom and her SO’s place, and that’s fine because i know everyone and everyone is staying there. But a few times they’ve had other people over when i was there and it’s so fucking uncomfortable, i have never met this other person before and their presence breaks all the routines i am used to.
Think of it like cats, they generally love sharing territory with some other cats that they’ve known for a long time and get along with, but if you suddenly bring home a new cat and just dump it in the living room it’s all but guaranteed that all of them will freak out and be miserable, because now everyone feels insecure and threatened.
Yea, nah, I didn’t misunderstand. You are not describing the normal reaction. Outside the obvious of “too often” it’s pretty unreasonable to think that someone who shares a living space with you can’t invite people into what is also their home.
If your home MUST be your space as much as you’re saying, you shouldn’t have roommates. The cat metaphor doesn’t work because these are temporary houseguests brought in by a co-equal member of the household who has equal rights to use of the space as you do.
Humans aren’t cats though. As someone with autism and social anxiety, what you’re describing does not sound neurotypical. A sibling or parent having a couple friends over who you haven’t met yet is very normal.
While I get what you’re saying, if this wasn’t directly established when the roommate moved in it is completely unreasonable to say they can’t have someone over for a few hours in a shared living space.
Idk I feel like it can totally be both. I’d say I’m pretty introverted but definitely don’t have social anxiety. I can handle talking to people fine enough, I just really dislike it and would rather not unless they’re friends or family. That being said, I’d 1000% prefer to not see strangers in my own home if I can avoid it by just chilling in my room or something.
This isn’t introvert behavior, introverts are normal people who just spend energy in social situations. This is social anxiety, please stop normalizing this stupid ass take.
This could absolutely be an introvwrted person with no social energy to spend. What do you think happens whrn an introverts social battery runs out? Shutdown and or/social anxiety.
I’m very much an introvert. If I’ve been with people all weekend and I’m drained, I definitely need time where I don’t need to answer to anyone or I get irritable and stressed.
If I’m past that point and hungry, I’d just get my food and brush off anyone trying to talk to me. Presumably these are my roommate’s friends, so I’m not expected to stick around and socialize.
I think the key here is presumption of etiquette. My social battery drains by having to consider social behaviors - speaking clearly, planning out what I want to say, paying attention to what people are saying and doing. If I’m just navigating through that space to grab food and return to my room, that’s no problem. The issue is if people DO expect me to hang around, or ‘chase’ me back to my sanctuary space.
Yeah but imo there is presumption of etiquette when there is a guest in you or your relative/host’s home
No, those texts are from the cat.
Underrated comment
but also if you’re bringing home people who others in the household don’t want to be around maybe you should talk to them about that and maybe visit your friends instead of them visiting you. I don’t have social anxiety but if i had to deal with strangers showing up in my home i’d be completely nonfunctional, because it’s my fucking home
Yeah this isn’t about social anxiety this is about intrusion of sanctuary space.
Out and about? Awesome sure I’ll chit-chat. Friends drop by for a bit? Cool!
Having a roommate’s acquaintance I barely know in the living room for four hours when I expected to be able to turn off my brain and grab snacks freely without forced small talk? Absolutely the hell not. No. Bad.
Who is this actually happening to? If I or someone I live with have a friend over for that long, we/they’re probably doing something. If there was anything close to small talk with a roommate coming by, its “Hey! Wanna join us?”, to which “no thanks” is always a fine answer.
Completely nonfunctional? Sorry to burst your bubble but that sounds like crippling social anxiety. Maybe visit elsewhere instead of ever having friends over? Have you ever been in a relationship? That’s extremely selfish.
Thai sounds like you should be exclusively living on your own.
you seem to have misunderstood, i can handle other members of the household, the problem is having people i don’t actually live with show up outside my control.
Like every now and then us kids spend a couple days at my mom and her SO’s place, and that’s fine because i know everyone and everyone is staying there. But a few times they’ve had other people over when i was there and it’s so fucking uncomfortable, i have never met this other person before and their presence breaks all the routines i am used to.
Think of it like cats, they generally love sharing territory with some other cats that they’ve known for a long time and get along with, but if you suddenly bring home a new cat and just dump it in the living room it’s all but guaranteed that all of them will freak out and be miserable, because now everyone feels insecure and threatened.
Yea, nah, I didn’t misunderstand. You are not describing the normal reaction. Outside the obvious of “too often” it’s pretty unreasonable to think that someone who shares a living space with you can’t invite people into what is also their home.
If your home MUST be your space as much as you’re saying, you shouldn’t have roommates. The cat metaphor doesn’t work because these are temporary houseguests brought in by a co-equal member of the household who has equal rights to use of the space as you do.
Humans aren’t cats though. As someone with autism and social anxiety, what you’re describing does not sound neurotypical. A sibling or parent having a couple friends over who you haven’t met yet is very normal.
While I get what you’re saying, if this wasn’t directly established when the roommate moved in it is completely unreasonable to say they can’t have someone over for a few hours in a shared living space.
Idk I feel like it can totally be both. I’d say I’m pretty introverted but definitely don’t have social anxiety. I can handle talking to people fine enough, I just really dislike it and would rather not unless they’re friends or family. That being said, I’d 1000% prefer to not see strangers in my own home if I can avoid it by just chilling in my room or something.
No u.