The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.
On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there’s a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-
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Be kind
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Ask people what they think, and why
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Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility (EDIT: no, this is not specifically referring to Nazis. I get it, they’re the first thing that comes to mind. I’m not telling you to approve of Nazis I’m just saying be kind to your fellow lemmites)
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Engage sincerely
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Ask yourself if there’s something nice you can say
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Make this small space worth being in
A platform lives or dies by what’s available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of “content” or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren’t the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.
Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse’s biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.
The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.
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I disagree with your premise.
It should be “The best thing that you can do for humanity is to be kind”.
Seriously. We’re living in a time when fascism is in an upswing and at least one religious leader has publicly called empathy a sin. Kindness and empathy are rebellious acts.
You know what, I can respect that take. I was trying to tailor things to my audience, you’re not wrong though :)
I can get behind the Kindness Rebellion.
@Cris_Color A lot of people mistake kind for being fake and not ever expressing disagreement, but doing so neuters what is in my view one of the most valuable aspects of these federated social media, the potential for opposing view points to be expressed and then discussed and hopefully some mutually beneficial solutions that accommodate both sides of an opposing viewpoint can be arrived at. That can’t happen unless an environment is safe and inviting and people can act in a civilized manner.
retail middle management vibes
I have a couple of suggestions to add:
I was considering leaving the other site before the API fiasco because it felt like so many users approach engagement as rhetorical combat, that is, the point of discussion is to defeat the other person. Instead, think one of Covey’s habits of highly-effective people: “Win-win, or no deal.” Approach discussion on the Fediverse as a collaborative act, in which you’re exchanging ideas with another person. Even if you disagree, you can both win by respectfully hearing out the other person. And if the other person won’t collaborate? No deal! Just disengage.
Just like in intimate relationship, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Telling people who they are and what they believe is not only disrespectful, but probably wrong, often exaggerated or distorted for rhetorical combat purposes. People get angry when their identity gets poked at. One exception, of course, is when giving advice, like, stick to what you know, and share your thoughts and your reactions to a topic.
Well yeah but consider that everyone that doesn’t think like me is a Nazi at best
This place is becoming very Reddit, if you post anything that deviates from someone’s beliefs they call you names and insult your intelligence. So many people can’t have a debate or discussion without jumping to personal attacks and hate. It’s really disheartening. I love political debate but there’s no such thing anymore, only name calling
Doing a quick look through your comment history paints the picture that you’re likely the issue since your responses are often vaguely or overtly aggressive. Snide and snark.
There it is. And that’s the weirdest, most volatile group, the ones that search through your comment history so they can find ammo for personal attacks. That’s so so weird, I have never ever looked through anyone’s comment history, if you’re an asshole i generally move on. Going into a strangers history to search for dirt is really cringe and kind of speaks to your priorities in life
But if someone didn’t search your comment history, they wouldn’t know from context, that you seem to enjoy telling others what they should and shouldn’t be posting and judging them for being obnoxious and insulting while doing exactly that elsewhere.
Funny you complain about me trying to police what people post, while you report me and my comment to silence me
I didn’t report you bud. Is it possible that maybe you’re just insufferable enough to annoy several people at once?
Following the premise of the thread: Not even once
Tell that to the people who make a dozen sockpuppet accounts to insult me just because I disagreed with them.
Second best thing you can go is to report unkind people.
Yeah, try reporting behavior mods themselves are aware and approve of LMAO 🤣
The second best thing is remember that tolerance of intolerance breeds intolerance.
That suggests we should be intolerant of intolerance, which is an oxymoron.
Not really. Nazis are scum and deserve to be kicked out.
If you actually had a coherent definition of what a Nazi is, it might be possible to agree with you. But in reality, it’s used as a catch all by shitty people to justify their shitty behaviour.
To be clear, I mean people who praise Hitler, get swastika tattoos, blame everything on a Jewish Conspiracy, etc.
You know, Nazis.
That’s coherent. Unfortunately most people who use it today literally mean “someone who disagrees with me.” It really muddies the water because it’s often accompanied by threats of violence. The net effect is raising the temperature in the room on both sides, because it’s effectively dehumanising others who have perfectly valid political disagreements, and calling for their death.
I arrived at LEMMY after what I think we very optimistically called the Reddit Collapse. We wish. And I had toe in LEMMY and a few others at Reddit.
Recently with their abusively patronizing redesigning and gamification and just ugly bullshit, I can’t stomach Reddit at all. So LEMMY grows increasingly important, not just to me but to folks who haven’t yet even heard of it.
So, I’ll just say thanks for your post here. I have, I confess, engaged with a couple bullies on LEMMY and I always try to say… I don’t like to do this on LEMMY— and I say that precisely for the reasons you mention.
And as you encourage: I will try to be kinder, even in when feeling… hmm… less than kind.
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It’s gotten to the point here at Lemmy that I’m wanting to set up my two favorite communities. It’s just that they are so niche I can’t imagine them taking off. And my pleasure in them is of course derived from people who are FAR MORE into them than I am.
But I can’t even go back to that cesspool Reddit now even for the good stuff. Oh well.
Great post.
To add to this, not resorting to calling others tankies or Russian bots when you have differing opinions, especially around politics.
Nah fuck tankies, zero tolerance for the intolerant.
1 billion percent agree, not everyone you disagree with is acting in bad faith
when you’re dealing with fundamentalists or extremists things turn nasty very quickly because you’re questioning their fantasy world
doesn’t matter if they’re good or bad faith, often they will just ban you
