So she bore me, but didn’t technically birth me. But thats semantics and I don’t want to offend women who’ve had a caesarean as if there was somehow a meaningful difference.
I’m saying there’s a symbolic one, in this context.
My mom would always rag on my sister because she was born vaginally, but had to give birth to her own child by c-section due to breach position. I understand first-hand that mothers are not intrinsically good for their children, but the circumstances of the birth process that are out of their hands isn’t really one of the things to judge them on.
Well you’ll be happy to know that isn’t one the things I judge her for.
I’ve no need to.
As I said, it’s just symbolic of how disconnected she is in my life anyway. I understand there is no meaningful difference and would disencourage anyone from attributing any to it.
It’s more the “minimum effort” sort of thing my mom has going on. See before “I left at 15”. edit Sorry the “before” is in another thread
I don’t think it was elective, no, it was because me and my brothers werr were all super large and wouldn’t really have fit. Too much for her to handle? That’s why I had to be own my own? That sort of thing more than anything “untimely ripped”.
But see the thing is my mom’s attitude reflects the attitude of the society, so it’s more like they looked at the ultras and went “oh, that’s gonna be too hard”.
And that’s something I’ve kept hearing all my life. People not wanting to do something because it has the possibility of going wrong. Everything does. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Even when the odds are super low.
I’m not shaming my mom for the C-sections. I am shaming her, but not for THAT.
Yeah I’ve seen what the baby’s skull goes through in birth, I don’t feel like I’ve missed out. Although there are also studies as to the reactions of the immune system to the birthing canal. But there’s studies into everything. Like I said, there’s no meaningful difference. It’s not as if I go around thinking people are “smushbrains” because they were born “naturally”, nor do I ever shame anyone FOR having a c-section. I might shame people who have had them, but not FOR having had them.
I’ve had major abdominal surgery two times and it’s no joke. And mine wasn’t like a thing that wished to come out. I spent almost a week in the ICU.
I learned the hard way, like you, that blood relatives do not automatically get a free pass. In fact, I’d say that blood relatives need to be held to higher standards.
My mom was complicit; she witnessed some of the physical abuses my brother put me through, and she and my dad chalked it up to “boys will be boys”.
I will breathe a little easier the day she moves on from this world.
We might be the same person. If I had met my mom under any other circumstance, we would but be friends. Now that she’s gone full MAGA, defending Nazis, we are no longer friends.
Not when your mom deserves it.
And don’t tell me that just by the virtues of being a mom she’s somehow infallible.
She literally didn’t even give birth to me, technically.
Same. Sometimes mothers have issues that make them unworthy of the title and all you can do is distance yourself from them when you get the chance.
I’m with you on not excusing a person just because they’re your family.
I just want to know, “technically?”
Well I never travel through her birthing canal.
Caesarean, like with all my (3) siblings.
So she bore me, but didn’t technically birth me. But thats semantics and I don’t want to offend women who’ve had a caesarean as if there was somehow a meaningful difference.
I’m saying there’s a symbolic one, in this context.
My mom would always rag on my sister because she was born vaginally, but had to give birth to her own child by c-section due to breach position. I understand first-hand that mothers are not intrinsically good for their children, but the circumstances of the birth process that are out of their hands isn’t really one of the things to judge them on.
Well you’ll be happy to know that isn’t one the things I judge her for.
I’ve no need to.
As I said, it’s just symbolic of how disconnected she is in my life anyway. I understand there is no meaningful difference and would disencourage anyone from attributing any to it.
I haven’t lived with her since I was 15.
Okay I get the symbolism, you’re like MacDuff. “From my mother’s womb untimely ripp’d.”
And she’s not off the hook for being an asshole.
But even an uncomplicated C-section is major abdominal surgery and much more difficult to heal from than an uncomplicated vaginal birth.
And it’s often done as a response to a vaginal birth that’s going terribly wrong, in which case there can be scarring from that trauma as well.
So it’s not like it “doesn’t count.” There’s a certain amount of C-section birth shaming out there, not that you’re part of that.
It’s easier on the baby, so that’s one time you won out.
No… that’s not it.
It’s more the “minimum effort” sort of thing my mom has going on. See before “I left at 15”. edit Sorry the “before” is in another thread
I don’t think it was elective, no, it was because me and my brothers werr were all super large and wouldn’t really have fit. Too much for her to handle? That’s why I had to be own my own? That sort of thing more than anything “untimely ripped”.
But see the thing is my mom’s attitude reflects the attitude of the society, so it’s more like they looked at the ultras and went “oh, that’s gonna be too hard”.
And that’s something I’ve kept hearing all my life. People not wanting to do something because it has the possibility of going wrong. Everything does. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Even when the odds are super low.
I’m not shaming my mom for the C-sections. I am shaming her, but not for THAT.
Yeah I’ve seen what the baby’s skull goes through in birth, I don’t feel like I’ve missed out. Although there are also studies as to the reactions of the immune system to the birthing canal. But there’s studies into everything. Like I said, there’s no meaningful difference. It’s not as if I go around thinking people are “smushbrains” because they were born “naturally”, nor do I ever shame anyone FOR having a c-section. I might shame people who have had them, but not FOR having had them.
I’ve had major abdominal surgery two times and it’s no joke. And mine wasn’t like a thing that wished to come out. I spent almost a week in the ICU.
I learned the hard way, like you, that blood relatives do not automatically get a free pass. In fact, I’d say that blood relatives need to be held to higher standards.
My mom was complicit; she witnessed some of the physical abuses my brother put me through, and she and my dad chalked it up to “boys will be boys”.
I will breathe a little easier the day she moves on from this world.
We might be the same person. If I had met my mom under any other circumstance, we would but be friends. Now that she’s gone full MAGA, defending Nazis, we are no longer friends.