there’s no normal amount =/= the normal amount is zero
Just answered this question during a checkup a few weeks ago and kind of chuckled while saying no. This didn’t seem to raise any flags so it must be a common reaction.
I had a similar response when I was asked last year during a checkup “how’s your mental health”.
My response was just to laugh for a bit and then to say “fine”.
Yeah, but were you chuckling while deep throating a pistol?
Is it not normal to think about what I would do if I was diagnosed with rapidly-developing irreversible dementia, or if there was some horrifyingly painful apocalypse approaching, or if literally everyone I care about in the world all died and I was left all alone?
Since my mom died, my thoughts are 5% sex, 5% video games and 90% about slitting my wrists because I don’t have a gun or pills.
And that’s the difference between minor depressive disorder and major depressive disorder. Thank you for attending Depression 101.
Lol I thought I was over my depression…but I guess I’ve been depressed my whole adult life.
You can “get over” depression? Please tell me how. I can’t find a single prescription pill nor therapist that helps, so I just vape live resin and shove Kratom powder down my throat to get through the day.
After 25 years of suicidal thoughts I’ve finally taken antidepressants, Zoloft was what worked for me.
In a couple of months the black thoughts became more rare and now in a year or so they are almost gone. I don’t feel the active need to kill myself any longer. Which feels… a bit uncanny almost. Not all in life is good, but this specific lack of despair is nice; still really bizarre to not have this endless dread any longer. I try to enjoy that while it lasts.
I did a lot of meditation as well with Headspace, can recommend that too.
Hope you find your way.
I’m glad that you found a medication works for you. Happy to hear that the dark thoughts are gone. I’ve been searching for over 20 years to no avail.
I’m not going to kill myself but I am tired, oh so tired. I just want to be able to wake up one day and feel like everything is okay, without immediately turning to substances the moment I wake up on a work day.
Tried sobriety for a month, and lost my job because of it. Without weed and Kratom I literally cannot function in the workplace. Some minor inconvenience happens; I lose my shit and quit. But when I’m buzzing everything is just fine. Not great, but good enough to get through the day. It’s pathetic. I just want to be able to feel good like my coworkers do naturally. I want to socialize and make friends instead of isolating myself all the time, even with drugs.
I’ll look into “Headspace”; thanks. (Is it an app?)
My personal experience (recurring major depression since childhood & cluster C personality disorder): Near complete drug & alcohol abstinence (i was a real pothead starting the day with a bong hit, and drunk at least once, but more often 2-3 times a week - selfmedicating gets pretty selfdestructive after a while), a lot of time and more therapy. Medication is a stopgap measure or to smoothen mood swings; what really helped me regarding my depression (and a lot with my other issues) was a therapy session per week for the last 4 years, 1 visit to the psychiatrist per month, and 2 group therapy sessions per week.
And time helps! The older you get, the less wild your mood swings get. Starting from my 30s i noted a distinct reduction in the extend of my depressive phases, and with my 40s i was able to cut back on a lot of my medication (i still take Duloxetin and Lyrica).
But for me it was mostly finding the right therapist and keeping at it with him (i have serious issues with developing relationships; it’s far easier to “reset” things by not meeting people more than a few times) for years.
I am lucky that i am recognized by my social insurance system as not able to work, because i will never be stable enough to cope with the pressure of even a part time job for more than a few months before i am a mental wreck again. In the US i would probably be dead by now.
I am sorry for being the bearer of sad news. Suicidal thoughts are the most easily recognizable of the symptoms. And even if they are less persistent between major depressive episodes, a lot of us are still stuck with depression in one form or another for the rest of our lives.
Well I know a permanent cure /s
Yeah, that’s my plan, but I can’t while my parents are still alive, because it would make them sad.
i can at least tell you that the mood swings do get less the older you get. My 20s were by far the worst phase, the 30 started to get better and in my 40s i “mellowed out”, but it still hits me a few weeks per year.
If you have those thoughts without much of a break, i would really recommend getting a solid diagnosis (personality disorders? add/adhd?) and have a hard look at the stress factors in your life and how to cut back on them, ideally with a seasoned therapist.
When you can recognize thoughts are fleeting and smart enough to never report them on paper.
That’s just the sane amount of depression
I guess that explains why I’ve never had any suicidal thoughts despite some severe depressive episodes !
I did wish I never had to be born in such a cruel world, but I don’t think that qualifies. I still wanted to be alive, but in an alternate dimension where people care about one another.
I think I experienced similar feelings which usually appear when I was comparatively “better” and those times did count as major depressive episodes, according to the professionals I dealt with.
But honestly the way our psyche deals with depression is highly individual and good, responsible therapists/psychiatrists/neurologists/… consider a variety of symptoms before making a final diagnosis. With the exception of a high risk of suicide which will immediately place the sufferer in the “major depressive disorder” category, because of the immediate danger to their lives.
What I want to say: Probably only an expert will be able to tell you exactly what kind of depression you have/had. And I cannot claim to be one. I am simply someone who suffers from it too and I read up about it.
