Folks, that’s not loincloths work. It’s a single strip of cloth that starts in the front, goes over the loop of cord, then through the legs and up over the loop of cord in the back. It’s not just two flaps of fabric hanging down in the front and back.

Oh, but I will argue that the same camera cuts don’t show the moments Frodo and Sam were mentioning it.

Surely gollum put the ring on it at least once.

It’s just an ancient penis. I don’t lament the vistas of old man dick I’ve witnessed in gym locker rooms. Frankly, given what I know, they constantly had his testicles hopping back and forth in full view. The scrotum just extends so damn far as you age, and that loincloth was certainly not long enough to cover the lumpy belt hanging between his legs. Mentioning a ubiquitous sight seems beneath the ring bearer.

Gollum, after Sam mentions it: “What’s testes, precious?”

Maybe they also like it raw and wriggling.

I’m seeing the potatoes reference with a different view now.

Brown eye of Sauron…